I thought he was joking because everybody knows a person doesn't fit through those pipes and the pipes from school wouldn't connect to the pipes at my home anyway but then he took me to the bathroom and tried it. I gave him a bloody nose then and the teacher got really mad and asked me what mommy would think of that. I told her mommy would be real proud of me 'cause mommy told me that little boys are evil and if I don't beat them up they'll turn into dead beats like my dad.
After that none of the other kids would talk to me. I really don't like real school but mommy says if I get good grades she'll start taking me to protests with her, and she'll let me hold a sign!
My mommy is the best ever. She's making tofurkey tonight to celebrate my first day of real school!